I am just a mother, and wife who has battled this horrible mental illness for most of my life.

My resiliance enabled me to not come to the attention of mental health services for a long time. It wasn’t until suicidality entered the picture that my secret world begun to unravel. 

The key to this happening was the loss of our unborn Son; Asher.

I refer to him as the straw that broke the camels back. A lifetime of trauma, loss, abuse which had all been kept very secret all began to be told that afternoon in the maternity ward. From somewhere within, I got enough strength to say those words out loud ‘I am suicidal and I plan to act’. 

To be continued…