Schema Therapy sessions 3&4

Schema TherapyHave you ever noticed certain patterns in your life such as dating the wrong type of person or getting angry in similar situations? Have you wondered why you haven’t achieved the success you want in your career or personal life? Do you often feel like an outsider or feel defective?


Schema therapy is a form of cognitive therapy that helps us to understand why we act and feel the way we do.  And, it goes beyond this. It helps you to make changes in your life to feel more satisfied in your relationships, work, and personal life.

Schemas are life long patterns of feelings and memories that are influenced by our experiences growing up. We all have schemas. Some schemas help us move in the direction of our goals and some schemas thwart our efforts. 


Schema therapy is an interactive and goal oriented therapy that has several components; assessment, experiential, and behavioral. 

During the assessment, they identify the specific schemas that are interfering in your life. Then, they use other tools during the experiential phase to deeply understand and recognize how the schemas present in your life today. Finally, during the behavioral phase, they work collaboratively on achieving your most important aspirations.


 Examples of Schemas:

Defectiveness: 

You often feel that there is something wrong with you as a person. You don’t feel that you are “ok” no matter how successful you are in your life. This schema often occurs if you experienced bullying, chronic criticism, or severe abuse. 

Social Isolation: 


You often feel like you don’t belong or feel uncomfortable with certain groups of people.  This may lead you to avoid social gatherings, certain work environments, or dating. You may also feel so anxious at events that you turn to alcohol or drugs to cope. This schema may occur if you felt different or excluded growing up. This can occur due to differences in ethnicity, religion, finances, or sexual identity.

Self-Sacrifice: 


You feel that other people’s needs are more important than your own. You often ignore your own desires and preferences because you either feel that you don’t deserve much or you feel guilty. This schema can develop if we grew up in a family where there was alcohol abuse, a medical illness, or an impaired parent.
Unrelenting Standards: 


You feel that you must always excel and push yourself to succeed; you may have difficulty relaxing or being spontaneous. People with this schema often struggle with feeling tired, anxious and irritable. This schema develops when excessively high standards are imposed on you during childhood.
Schema therapy sessions 3 and 4

Summary I’m afraid ……

This brings me on to my experience of therapy in the past two weeks. 
The reason for the delay in posting it because it has left me in an extremely vulnerable position. 

In the session last week (Schema session 4) I was so vulnerable and scared I disassociated.             It left me very emotional, and feeling absolutly broken. 

Since the session on Wednesday I have been really struggling with suicidality. 

I have not been able to reinstate my detached protector, and therefore leaving myself wide open making me vulnerable, anxious, aggressive (angry child) which is making my BPD symptoms worse. I feel trapped in a vicious circle.

(I am scared anxious and vulnerable, making me aggressive, making me shout and behave inappropriately. Leading to relationship problems with my husband and children, which then makes me more anxious scared and worthless, and then it all repeats again)

My levels of distress have lead to auditory hallucinations urging me to kill myself, and I am doing my best to ignore them. 

I have reached out to services, but there is nothing they can do. I need to just hang on and hope that I can reinstate my protector. 
I am scheduled another appointment on Wednesday, but unsure if I will be able to make it. I am unsure if I can handle any further trauma just now. 

Even although I am having these problems currently, I really do believe that schema therapy will help me in my recovery. 

But right now it feels hopeless 😩 

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