This is me saying it’s ok to be me.

I will do a little self disclosure here, just as an introduction.

My name is Angela, I am soon to be 40 later in the year (2017) and have spent my life struggling to contain my emotional instability disorder. It was actually only given to me as a diagnosis as recently as 18 months ago; after things spiralled way out of control and I found myself in a Psychiatric ward.
I have two little daughters ages 8 and 6, which is a huge challenge for me, and a very patient and supporting husband, even although he isn’t really sure how to handle me when the storms come.
I am 4 weeks into a group program called STEPS I am sure I have given a link to the material in further reading, this has been the first time I have even met another being with a BPD diagnosis.
See that’s the problem, there is so much stigma about this blasted disorder that even those who have it are not willing to go public because we have such fear about how we are going to be perceived. So no support groups no proper community.
I have lived my life in the shadows far too long, I need to breath and get this out there, not for anyone else, not for attention, but for me. It’s me saying its ok for me to be me.
This disorder confuses me so deeply, that I thought that as I try to find better ways to understand and live with it, I would write about it, to encourage me to keep seeking and, to encourage you perhaps to believe that with education, support and treatment we can create a life worth living, and a life free from the stigma we place on ourselves.

5 thoughts on “This is me saying it’s ok to be me.

  1. jimthevic says:

    I’m Jamie. 45. Diagnosed in 2015 after years of episodes and storms and anger and anxiety and depression. And all passing so quickly the GPs never gave me anything! Not even anti depressants. Complicated by other physical conditions. And in relation wit multiple losses of relationships, homes , and jobs. Ah well . Now we know what it is and I can get on with it. Is it OK to be me? I’m not sure, but I’m trying to work on it.
    @jimthevic

    Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BPDScotland says:

      If it’s not ok to be ourselves who are we supposed to be?
      I have been everything to everyone forever, now I need to accept me, to begin healing – I hate having this diagnosis, but as my late mother always said….. “there is no shame in illness”.

      Like

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